P.S: Have you heard of the song, The Art Of Letting Go? Haven't? Try listening to that song :)
I almost smacked myself when I read my previous posts. I didn't tagged myself as an emo girl. As in, an emotional girl. Maybe, the previous days were somehow making a different change on me. I don't know. Anyways, slowly, I'm getting by. It was hard, awfully hard. It was hard to say goodbye to someone whom you don't want to be apart with. But when you don't have any choice but to do it, with closed eyes, you'll do it. No matter how much it tears you apart. Whenever I'm feeling down, whenever I'm feeling sad, whenever I'm being torn apart, I would always run to this person and would pour my heart into him. Whenever I'm with him, I'm getting better. With just his presence, I'm becoming okay, little by little. But right now, I could not even go to that person. I know there's only one person who could make me feel okay. But how can I run into his arms when he's also the person who's the reason behind this pain?
Yes, it's really hard when you fall for your best friend. To your so-called brother.
But being alone has its own advantages. I've managed to think of what was happening to me, to him, to those who were around us. I've FINALLY realized that I've made the right decision. This love we have for each might be right to the both of us. But having it in the wrong time was making it the wrong love to the other people--and to the both of us as well. I know the right time will come for this love. If not now, then I know someday, in His own time. Somehow, I've gathered the strength to face him. Yes, tomorrow, we will talk. I'm scared. But this will be my first step of letting go.
I will miss him. For three years and more, he's been there for me. The brother I never had, the best guy friend I've been wishing since then, and the love I was dreaming since I was small. I wonder, what will happen to us now? Will I also lose the person I called my best friend?
I don't want to make this blog an another emo post so I'll end it here. Wish me luck for tomorrow. By the way, the italized verses are lyrics of the song, The Art Of Letting Go. Here's the remaining lyrics:
It's hard to let go of someone special. But once you've found your inner strength, letting go doesn't seems so hard. You just need to have faith in Him and His plans for you in His perfect time.